Pncils DONE

WHEWWW she's done it again, y'all!! Another horrific feat of endurance, entirely self-imposed, designed to extract Maximum Pity from all my friends who haven't heard from me in a month except to hear how tired I am. 

I haven't posted anything recently because I just didn't have anything interesting to say while I was in my crunch. No coherent thoughts, only pencil. Even now, after my first good night's sleep in weeks, I don't have any coherent thoughts, just the Big Feelings that always come with finishing a major stage of a GN. There's the sheer sweet relief of having hit my deadline, the ecstasy of finally having a readable comic I can show to people, the sadness of knowing I've drawn my characters for the last time, the terror of realizing it's no longer the perfect nonexistent comic in my head, it's an imperfect existing comic, and maybe it's not actually any good. I feel so proud of myself because I can see how much I've improved over the course of drawing these pencils, and I'm proud of myself for getting up at 4am every day, and sitting down at my desk to draw every day, even when I didn't feel like it, and making human art every day even though Adobe and Microsoft and Apple keep trying to push their godawful AI diarrhea on me every time I open my computer. I feel crazy because I'm making this book in isolation and I can't truly make anybody else understand how much work it is or how big a deal it is to me that I drew over a hundred pages in a month around a full time job.  I feel like ~260 pages isn't enough, it needs a hundred more pages. My coworker scoffed in my face on Thursday when I told her I was going to finish drawing my book this weekend. I can't stop thinking about the person who told us not to put sex in Persuasion because it would ruin it for them. I feel so fucking done talking to people who refuse to see the value in what I do. I feel like the Austen fans are gonna absolutely tear me to shreds. I'm worried my Grand Slam fans aren't gonna want to read it because classics adaptations are a strange curveball when you're known for being a homosexual slut. I am so bone tired. I can't wait to start inking it. 

Tomorrow I'm going to get all my knuckles tattooed, a la Freddy, as a treat.

Early to bed with me tonight for reallllllll.